Fear can either push you to do things that you don’t normally do, or it can stop you from doing things that you want to do. God knows how I wanted to sky dive for my 50th birthday but it's now a year past and still have yet to see how a chute feels on my back. Philip Yancey said that “A truly paranoid person organizes his or her life around a common perspective of fear.” I've seen this played out time and again in my life from driving my 16-year-old son to the beach myself instead of letting him ride with his friends, to keeping the driving to myself than letting my wife drive for me, even if I had to drive half asleep. Fear can make you feel defeated and give up. It can get you out of focus. Fear can make you sick. Fear can make you lose confidence.
It was Paul Tillich who said that there are three most fearful things that stops people dead on their tracks with anxiety. One is losing meaning to life, a life of emptiness. Second is guilt and condemnation as it threatens man's self-affirmation, and of course the third is facing fate and death.
So how do we deal with fear? You might be surprised at this but it's embodied in just one word, love. Fear and love are diametrically opposed to each other. This means that when one is present, the other one cannot exist. In 1 John 4:17-19, the beloved apostle John addresses fear in those who believe in Christ by these truths:
- "Love has been perfected in us" (i.e., believers in Christ)
- “There is no fear in love”
- “Perfect love drives out fear”
- “Fear involves punishment”
- “The one who fears is not made perfect in love”
- “We love because He (God) first loved us”
How have you seen “perfect love” played out in your life or someone you knew? Chad was a young, shy boy who was not very well accepted by the children. At the end of the school day when other children would walk home together, Chad was left to himself. For this reason his mother was deeply concerned when Chad told her he wanted to make a Valentine card for every child in his class. Nevertheless, she purchased all of the supplies for him. With paper, glue, and crayons, Chad spent three weeks making thirty-five Valentines. On the morning of Valentine’s Day, Chad was overflowing with excitement. He carefully collected all of his Valentines and headed out for school.
His mother was not so enthusiastic. She knew her son might not receive a single Valentine and wondered if he could handle that level of hurt. To compensate for the pain, she baked his favorite cookies and had them ready when he walked through the door.
The afternoon silence was broken by the sound of children walking down the street. As usual, the other kids were laughing as they walked together and Chad was all by himself. She noticed his hands were empty and tears started to fill her eyes. When the door opened, she choked back the emotions and said, “Mommy has some warm cookies and milk for you.” He barely heard a word. His face was glowing and his chest was about to burst with pride as he said, “Not a one . . . not a one. I didn’t forget a one, not a single one!”
Chad had no fear, because he loved. And he gave it away.
What if you acted as if there is nothing to fear about? What would be the first thing you would do?
The greatest joy in life is reserved for those who are more interested in giving love than living in fear.
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